Serve me right...

Im depressed now.. Because of my suddenly occurred cough and my back pain that arise because of my 'fantastic life during selective'.

      Selective is our last period of Sem 4. After this 'supposed to be' honeymoon period we shall all get into Sem 5, our last semester in IMU BJ. Our batch's selective is a totally different selective that none of our seniors had undergone. For our seniors they got to choose to do the things they want but for us, we all got to do the same 'interesting' thing which is the history of medicine in conjuction with IMU's 15th anniversary..Great..History of medicine.Studying about how bugs n drugs were discovered, who and when some disease were identified..etc..

        Since this selective is unlike the usual system course thus we are having a small test at the end of the day plus a poster presentation. Poster! OMG..When is the last time i got involved in doing a poster?? We are divided into group of 5 where each group have to produce a poster of 1m X 1m and prepare a presentation for 10 mins based on the topic given. Ok, since this thing carries 40% of our assessment so by all means we got to do it...Nothing to be complaint about.. But things got little messy when my group decided to finish the thing asap..Rushing for a project is definitely will drive my adrenaline high...

        Another big project which most of my batchmates are involved in is the Malaysian Studies project. Although every1 from private Uni have to take malaysian studies exam, we, are so much special that we actually putting up a Cuti- cuti Malaysia Expo in our Uni's atrium as our assessment. This project is about promoting tourism in our country and every1 of us are required to do some presentation. We are supposed to be assess as a group but as usual doing a group work means that they will be uneven workload distribution. Though these things are so time consuming the time given are so short. Finally these things is coming to an end soon...

       What made my life more interesting is that i took part in a cheerleading competition as i thought this is my last semester in IMU and i think this will be my one n only chance to be a cheerleader. So i happily took up the challenge despite the fact that i can neither dance nor do stunts. Learning every move from scrape is not an easy task for me but since i had decided to participate in this therefore there shouldn't be any complaint from me. As some of my friends said: who ask u to be so enthusiastic at the 1st place? But still, sometimes cheerleading really made my day especially when we can all do the stuffs that seem impossible to us at 1st..

       But me, thinking that i may be too free during selective, I got involved in the IMU charity run thingy as well..Helping up with the sponsorship is a quite Ok task i would say. But things got a little bit nasty when all the stuffs come at 1 go..Every1 was telling me this :" come on people, all i need is ur these few days, i understand that u all are busy with ur own stuffs but all i asked from u is jus few days..." Well, if i got a little time left i will be happy to donate it to those who asked from me..But i got none! Everyone was asking my " these few days" at the same time, how am i supposed to give my "these few days" to everyone??? Grumbled aside..Job still need to be done since i already volunteer myself at the 1st place..

       Ok, i admit that i asked for all these myself..Im always the kind of ppl who can't just stay quietly and study everyday..To me, as a medical student we still can enjoy as much Uni life as possible by getting involved in all kinds of activities..But recently i really feel lost..Lost the purpose of being here in IMU...Skipping lectures to do project, tonnes of lecture notes left untouched...Maybe i sound very kiasu but yes i did think of studying for EOS 5 during this selective and now im in the middle of selective yet nothing revised...

      The cough that strike me suddenly made me realised that my body had start protesting..I got to slow down my busy life to give myself a time to rest..Nowadays i just feel that i seldom do things for my own...I got no more energy to show concern to the person around me..N true enough they had started to make noise as well..Really hope they can give me time to settle my stuffs and unwind myself...I need a break...

       I know i shouldn't be complaining since everything oso i get involved willingly..No 1 forced me to do all that stuffs..But sometime i jus need some 1 who can listen to me, hear me grumbled and let my heart out instead of saying that " who ask u to be so busybody? Cant cope it then dont offer urself at the 1st place.." I just need some 1 to pampered me a bit when im tired..All i need is a little concern from some1 though i understand everybody is busy n wore out by their own stuffs..

      I think im getting more n more depressed these days..n im blaming it all to my sickness...Hopefullly by the end of the days when i get better all these negative mood will be gone..Hopefullly i can find back the happy go lucky chuihan again asap...